.. And The Infinite Taste for Travel and Infantile Adventures

Letter

QL 19, 100 iso, 1/60 sec, 1.9 aperture

 

Dear “former piss buddy”,

The last time I exchanged the longest laugh with you was probably back when we were 8 years old. Back in 1996, everything then was about smiling and laughing and getting all creative on every silly chance. And yes, we both know that we did get to be creative and funny during those days.

Those were the days when your gauge of coolness was measured with the NBA cards that we have. It was either a Jordan or Penny, while there were also others who loved Grant Hill, Scottie Pippen and even Dennis Rodman. I remember you were the guy who sold me that very first NBA card, my very first Michael Jordan for P50. With a P20 allowance per day, you know that I couldn’t pay you right away. But somehow, I already knew back then that you have somewhat a skill in convincing people what to buy. Though I know that I was broke but somehow I managed to pull it through after a few days or so.

I remember the time when you and I used to be so cool with each other. In fact it was the three of us. Do you remember that break period when we ran up the second floor of the Pax Et Bonum building just to piss by the end of the floor? With a glass door that showed us to the balcony overlooking the playground, we knew back then that something has to be done.

I remember perfectly that the three of us pissed there just for the sake of tickling our funny bones.  Then the funnier part came. We saw the vice principal on discipline with his ridiculously then-powerful megaphone making his rounds on the same floor where we were taking a piss. You are the fast one as you pissed by the wall, safe enough that you are on the left side far from Big Brother’s eyes. I immediately took the other side which unfortunately didn’t look into a wall. I saw my piss drop twenty feet into the ground with just around five feet away from the gate of the small canteen for the little preparatory turds. But the best part was our third wheel. With no other corner to hide, he immediately dropped and pissed sitting down with his juvenile nuts hanging loose. I was always proud as the kid who pissed the most and the longest despite the near encounter with the vice principal’s office!

Those were only part of the day to day thrills that we used to have. I remember getting the bright idea from you that we should spit by the second floor of the elementary building as it looks funny to see our spit simply hanging loose and reaching the ground. Back then, we also don’t mind running our assess off if in some weird and coincidental way we hit someone’s head like Pearl Harbor.

With all those fond memories, I was happy to finally make you a contact on my Facebook. I guess, we were old buddies and part of you reminded me of the kid that I enjoy remembering. Maybe you are part of the nostalgia whenever I wanted to remember the Me version 1.0 circa 1996. With all the jumping and the simple things that I used to do, I was just more than happy to get to chat with you and exchange stories of all the piss and the spit adventures that we used to have.

One day, I just got the shock when you gave me a call. I never thought it was you. In fact, it wasn’t the voice register that made an impression on my head. For me it was a total stranger giving out a name that I simply recognize. I guess, time flies so fast that we just changed A LOT.

With no communication for the longest time, I was simply surprised that you called. And Oh, I remember giving you my number via Facebook. But instead of saying Hi to me, you simply told me that you want to do business with your old time piss and spit buddy. Now, isn’t that sweet? Come to think of it, you really don’t know me and I really don’t know you besides the spit and the piss and all the other silly things that we used to do. But suddenly I get it. The moment you told me that you have your office based in Octagon in Ortigas, it simply sent red flags over my head.

Octagon building is pretty much notorious for MLM (Multi Level Marketing). Well if you want to sugarcoat pyramiding scam in a three letter word, it would have to be MLM.

The moment I asked what type of business you want to discuss with me, instead of answering me directly, you simply told me that it could only be explained by a presentation. Well, my former piss buddy, let me tell you that you are still the piss buddy that I know back in 1996 who didn’t evolve; still the guy who will haggle for that P50 Jordan card. But guess what, I finally realized the value of hard earned cash and I never wanted to go with goons that sweet talk people into investing their money on beauty products that will never ever hit the market like a Mary Jane filled pancake.

I heard so many news about the so-called company that you are working for, and we all know that you are now affiliated with a group that has a bad reputation of mishandling people’s money. Well, guess what, you could shove it up your ass and don’t call me again.

XOXO

 

PS: Kiss my allergic ass, I won’t buy any of your products

 

 

 

 

3 responses

  1. kuelyr

    nostalgia meets practical sensibility. this MLM line of business is fast destroying friendships and fond memories, ain’t it?😛

    March 12, 2011 at 12:01 am

    • unidentifiedwalkingobject

      If there was a friendship established in the first place, it would have to be yes

      March 12, 2011 at 12:19 am

  2. One time, I met a first year high school buddy of mine. Like you, we did some crazy shit together. Heck, on the first day of school, we all went to the toilet and compared our little circumsized d*cks. Long story short, met him one time in a public utility vehicle and invited me to “seminar.” Crazy how some people would like to catch up in the weirdest of opportunities.

    March 17, 2011 at 8:00 pm

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